It's never late!

Everyone has a dream. Everybody has a purpose to achieve. Everybody has a target in life. Everyone has an 'ideal life', 'ideal relationship', 'ideal career', etc. in mind.

Do we pursue it?! Do we put in efforts to go towards it? Do we take initiatives to do it NOW?

It is very important to check if we are moving towards our destiny. Always we are busy with so many things in life that we don't see the direction in which we are heading. We should stop now and then to check our compass to recalibrate the trajectory. The problem with our modern life style is, we close our eyes and compete in the rat race without knowing were it might lead. If we do not stop to contemplate every now and then, we might not even realize that we might be drifting further and further away from our destiny.


Our distance from our destiny will be directly proportional to the time we have wasted in wrong directions. If we have wasted more time, we will have to spend more efforts and more time to bring us back to track. Lot of things once done will require efforts and additional time to undo, redo or to realign. For e.g., if you do not have a solid educational background or a good relationship, as time goes, your commitments will increase more and more that you will not be able to pursue your educational or the better relationship pursuits.

If you realize now that something is missing in your life, do it NOW or at least take steps to move towards it NOW....IT IS NEVER LATE!

Courtesy: The ‘two lines’ motivation is that of my 12th standard tuition teacher, Mr. Manivanan.

Locus of Control

~ There is an ardeous task at hand, and you are not confident as this is the first time you are tackling the issue.
~ You see some useless guys (according to you) succeed in life.
~ You took up something that you are not sure about and it was a fiasco.
~ There are too many problems in this world that you are not able to succeed.
~ Your career seems to go nowhere.
~ You are having lot of financial troubles.
~ You do not get along with people.

In these situations do you,
1) Get overwhelmed by these situations and get carried away? Do you also react with hatred, ego, anger or frustration?

2) Or, do you remain calm and see how you can set things right and make the parties involved to understand and feel better?

Do you see the difference between the two approaches? Approach 1 is REACTING and Approach 2 is RESPONDING.

Both the words seem to have the same meaning. Do you wonder ‘what the heck is the difference?!!'

Well the explanation given by the philosophers, yogis and gyanis is that, if you are able to be with awareness and let your Consciousness, Virtues and Values guide you then you are RESPONDING. If you get carried away by the negativity of the situation and you also take the same emotional shades of the negative situation, then you are reacting!

Hmm...so you are thinking this is another philosophy funda that is good to talk/hear and not so good to implement. Well, first to give you confidence on this concept, I would like to bring to your notice that, all that the philosophers talk about is actually a MANAGEMENT FUNDA! Yes, it is scientifically classified under LOCUS OF CONTROL in human psychology!! The point of this article is not to argue on who copied from whom, but to help you implement these better in life.

LOCUS OF CONTROL says, there are two kinds of people in this world. The people who have an EXTERNAL locus of control that they get influenced by the external environment and second the people with INTERNAL locus of control, who are mature and strong enough to influence the external environment to make it better. So, concept says that the best personalities are the ones who are ones who are with the INTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL. They are able to succeed better as they do not waste their energy by making things worse by reacting and believe that they control their own destiny.

From my experience, I would like to list out the ‘know hows’ and ‘to dos’ to achieve INTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL

1) RESPOND, don't react.
2) Understand that ANY human being's core virtues are PEACE, LOVE and HAPPINESS. Either you know it or you are yet to know it, but it always is your core virtue.
3) Stress Management - You might have observed that chances of you REACTING is more when you are enervated/exhausted and you RESPOND better when you feel fresh and energetic. Don't carry any luggage anytime; from office-to-home or home-to-office or office-to-office or home-to-home. Find ways to relieve your stress.
4) Believe in yourself. Have RESPECT for yourself and others as one of your core values. Always react to all with respect and respect yourself by not spoiling your mood.
5) Be aware at all times, keep the balance and respond with consciousness. All situations in life are trying to teach you something. See if you are learning the lesson.
Do you want to know what your locus of control is?! Click on this link to check it out!
Don't choose the best answer, choose the best answer that suits your current personality!

Don't run away!

It was a Sunday morning in 2003. I was in Marina Beach, Chennai, India for a get-together. We formed two groups for a game. Group 1 were to be in the outer most circle and Group 2 inside a circle. The people in the outer circle group have to hit the people in the inner circle with a ball and people in inner circle getting hit are out of the game. After the first round, the groups switch places.

As I was in the outer circle in first round, I was observing to understand the secret as we played. Lot of people were trying to hide in the inner part of the circle. Who do you think is the most vulnerable to get hit?! The ones facing the ball? Yes, I also thought so; but it is the ones who were hiding behind were getting out of the game very fast. That struck me that ones who were facing the ball were able to easily avoid it as they were able to see where the ball is coming. The ones hiding had left it to chance and got hit as soon as the ones facing the ball avoided it.


I was glad that my secret worked when I played in round 2 and I was able to avoid the ball easily. It also increased my focus as I had to respond very fast when the ball was thrown in my direction. Once when I couldn’t manage to face the ball I got hit. Though I was out of the game, I was overjoyed that I had used my awareness to help me have my best game.


As I came out, I was contemplating on what I learnt. It dawned on me that this is how real life is. It was an enlightening moment when I sensed that this might be a secret to success in life!

* FACE challenges in life head on, you'll feel the acceleration of energy and the satisfaction of being courageous.
* As popularly said, "ACTION CURES FEAR"; do what u fear!
* Hiding and escaping only makes the problem big; at the least, in your mind!
* By being aware, even if you lose, you'll be satisfied that you did the best and you'll know where you failed. So success might be just another try away.

I tell this real life incident to the ones who try to avoid problems. Whether they get excited or not, I get excited whenever I get a chance to narrate this.

Don't run away, your best resources are inbuilt. You Can!

Empty cup and a Hollow bamboo

Though there are lots of dimensions to personal fulfillment, I believe that it starts from self and ends in the self. So, I would like to start from the self.

A plant grows only if it takes in the nutrients, water and sunlight. The fruits of the plant will be as better as the amount of energy it is able to assimilate. The quest for learning will fulfill the needs to nourish our minds. The key to learn new things is in the attitude to listen and receive.

Answer these questions to know if you are open:

• Do you listen to people and their suggestions despite their difference in economic, social, cultural, or racial background or their difference in age, color or language from yours?
• Do you process criticisms (positive or negatively presented) properly by looking at only what the person wants me to improve rather than focusing on the feelings (hatred, jelousy, or egoistic) with which it was presented? ....well yea, a positive criticism will emotinonally uplift you to make the changes easily...but do you respond to a +ive criticism +ively?
  
• Do you read (either technical, philosophical or general based on your interests) extensively? Even if the ideas presented are conflicting with your beliefs, do you atleast take some time to think about it?
  
• If you are in a tough situtation in your life, do you try to see what is the good that life is trying to make us learn from that incident?
• If you have done some mistake, do you waste your time repenting or do you open yourself to accept it as a good teacher and learn to lead a better life by not repeating it again?
  

Even if the opportunity to learn is vast are we ready to learn?

To create an internal learning enviroment, see if your mind is like an empty cup and your whole self is like a hollow bamboo.

Spend some time with yourself to see how ready you are to RECEIVE, LEARN and to GROW!